If you read part 1, congratulations.
If you didn’t read part 1, then all you missed out on was some music stuff and a bunch of clips taken from the book I finished reading.
Back to life…
I substitute taught today. Third grade. It was rough. It was more than rough. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. Oh my gosh. It was just a really awful day. I got back to the house around 4:00 and crashed 40 minutes later, feeling exhausted, voice hoarse, and a headache that would last 3 hours. Subbing today made me miss teaching music immensely.
As for music news, my Illinois provisional teaching certificate has been issued and set to print. I called Curie Monday and couldn’t get a hold of Mr. S~ so instead I left a message with Mr. T~. I checked my phone today when I could and no message back. I shall be calling tomorrow again. I had to shell out another $16 just to get the certificate registered in Chicago. Illinois is obviously making money off of me just through this whole certification process. It’s ridiculous. My certificate is good until 2013.
I’ve been getting dizzy spells at night and my body is doing things it shouldn’t. At least, right now. I blame it on what has been going on for the past week. The news of possibly going to Chicago sooner than expected. The race to get my provisional certificate. The news that I’ve been lied to for the past year by someone I love. The fits of substitute teaching for the first time. There’s been a push and pull from almost each aspect of my life.
I’ve been trying to start working on the relationships with friends I have and the ones I’d like to have, or at least, strengthen. Over these past few days I’ve come to realize there are two kinds of selfishness; the kind that hurts others for your benefit, and the kind that not only benefits yourself, but brings good to those around you. I’ve always been afraid of being selfish in general but I’ve realized that I really need to think about myself more than I think about others right now (especially after what happened this weekend). I’ve been trying to communicate with as many friends as possible lately to show they are loved. I feel the internet has disconnected all of us in so many ways that we don’t even bother to make a phone call anymore. We just facebook message someone and call it good. I’ve been trying to arrange simple hang outs. Just enjoying each other’s company. That’s why lately whenever I go to Lincoln, I try to see as many people as possible. This Thursday I’m having coffee on two separate occasions with two different people; one I was in Chamber Singers with for years but just never seemed brave enough to open myself up to and someone I dated for only about a month or so two years ago from now. We never know what we’re missing out on until we just…try. It couldn’t do any more harm than what I’ve been feeling. I’m actually really excited for Thursday. I’m hoping that this attitude will develop into something that can light up my outlook on life a bit more and will last with me on my quest.
Because no one likes a Debbie Downer.
Also, our Qwest modem came in the mail today. You know what that means… Ha, I hope to attempt to set it up tomorrow. I’m going to be bothering D~ like crazy over the phone (sorry sweetheart).
As for my musical life, I’ve had the strangest craving to write Broadway music. I’ve had these cravings before, and I always thought I would kind of be good at it. Someday.
Someday.
Peace out.
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