Candy Says

I spent a good three hours this evening listening to The Velvet Underground while deconstructing/reconstructing my room. “Candy Says” came up over my speakers and I realized having done a cover of that song over two years ago, that was probably the worst move to make in the world of rock ‘n’ roll. It’s a great song, don’t get me wrong.  But for the band that we were when we started out and the musician that I was at that time, it wasn’t working. That was just the random thought of the evening.

I’ve been deconstructing and reconstructing, mostly to waste time and the de-clutter my life. Since I’m figuring I’m going to be living at ‘home’ for the next 10 months, it’s about time that I actually ‘move in’ and stop living out of a suitcase and boxes. This means I am turning my room back into ‘my room’ and not just a storage space that my mom had turned it into over the past two years (still can’t find my running shoes since I left for Chicago). I have about 1/4 of my room deconstructed and reconstructed, I suppose. My room smells like Pledge and for someone who has allergies, well, my nose is going crazy right now. I’m trying to simplify my life as much as I can right now, meaning, simplifying my possessions. And if I haven’t touched it for at least two years, it probably has no importance to me whatsoever anymore.

I suppose one of the other reasons that I’m doing this (other than me being OCD) is that if I’m going to be here for a good while, I want to at least have visitors. However, the likelihood of this seems slim. I spent the majority of my summer right after I returned to Nebraska driving and flying to anywhere and everywhere, couch surfing. And never was it me being asked to come to visit. It was me offering to visit. Perhaps I’m bitter or even paranoid, but I’m honestly tired of driving everywhere. For once I’d like someone to either ask me to visit or offer to come visit me. Sure, I could just stop offering, but then I feel like I’ll just end up a recluse. I know many of my friends are busy with school but even when I was back in classes and rehearsals, I still made time. I guess what I’m really trying to say is I’m tired of driving everywhere to see everyone and for once I’d like someone to return the favor (I should have kept track at how much I’ve spent in transportation costs over the past 4 months). I’m done crabbing now.

Job frustration. No sub gigs yet. I finally have everything in that needs to be completed for me to get paid. I still check the CPS bulletins every week. This week one of the jobs I applied for back on July 7th was reposted. And it’s a school that’s just a few blocks west of where I lived in Hyde Park. CPS begins classes on September 7th, just days from now. I told my mom about this job and the situation and she is practically forcing me to apply. I’m still unsure what her angle is. I’m rather doubtful I’d even get an interview. I’m just frustrated with this push and pull business.

I haven’t felt like myself this week which is a vague statement. Maybe it’ll get better when I finish this construction phase. When I de-clutter my surroundings, I de-clutter my mind in the process. There are a lot of big changes going on around me. A few friends have traveled (or will be traveling) afar. Others are back at school. I’ve given up on the ‘L’ word (not the show) for the time being mostly because I need to stop thinking about something that will most likely never happen. I haven’t been making music/playing music as much as I’d like. And I think this may be part of why I feel the way I have been, especially when it is such a large part of who I am.

The first Husker game of the season is this weekend, of which I most likely will not be watching because I’m not a a football fan in general. Also, word is that my brother may not be coming to Sky-town to visit for Labor Day which has me a bit irked.

But in good news, the weather is cooling off in Nebraska. Today was been the coldest day of the summer, lingering in the 60’s and 70’s (it’s 57ºF as I write this). Only 19 days until the official start to fall/autumn which means hot apple cider, caramel apples, turning leaves, sweater weather (I’ve already started wearing my blazers!) and just for S~, stretchy gloves (even though I personally don’t wear gloves this early).

This is probably enough of my rambling this evening. I watched the Rob Blago.... interview on The Daily Show and should probably get back to making my room look like a tornado didn’t run through it. So if you read through all of this, I’m sorry. I hope to bring you something slightly more entertaining next time. Hopefully.

Peace out.